Freedom from Church Hurt

'And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.'

- Acts 15:36-41

Church hurt exists.

No church is free from Church hurt.

Church hurt can lead us to the Head of the Church.

'The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound…'

- Isaiah 61:1

Church hurt can give us the opportunity to love like Jesus.

'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.'

- John 13:34

We can be free from Church hurt.

‘…Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. '

- 2 Timothy 4:11b

A Mystery, a Mirror, and Marriage

'So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.'

- Genesis 2:21-25

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

- ‭‭Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭6‬-‭9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

God hid a mystery in marriage.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” 

- Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭31‬-‭32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

God made marriage to mirror the gospel. 

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 

- ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Society’s attempts to conduct romantic relationships apart from God don’t mirror the gospel.

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you...” 

- ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭9‬-‭11a ‭ESV‬‬

But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

- ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭11‬b ‭ESV

We don’t throw stones. We show people to the Cornerstone.

“The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.’”

- ‭‭John‬ ‭8‬:‭3‬-‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬‬‬

The Sinner and the Sinless

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them
- John 8:2

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of Adultery. In the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
- John 8:3-6

“You belong to your father, the devil and you want to carry out your father’s desires.”
- John 8:44

…..but Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger
- John 8:6

“When the Lord finished speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai, he gave him the two tablets of the covenant law, the tablets of stone inscribed by the finger of God.”
- Exodus 31:18

I am the way, I am the truth and I am life.
- John 14:6

For the wages of sin is death
- Romans 6:23

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stopped down and wrote on the ground.
- John 8:7

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
- John 8:9

He knew no sin
- 2 Corinthians 5:21

He committed no sin
- 1 Peter 2:22

In him there is no sin
- 1 John 3:5

Jesus straightened up and asked her “Woman where are they? Has no one condemned you”. “No one, sir” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you? Go now and leave your life of sin.
- John 8:10

Know his Love

“…..And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
- Ephesians 3:17-19

Know the Truth

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come.
- 2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, there is now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
- Romans 8:1

You are accepted

You are secured

You are significant

Pass it on

“Freely you have received, freely give.”
- Matthew 10:8

Who Let You In?

12 …remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility…
- Ephesians 2:12-14

18 For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 22 In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
- Ephesians 2:18-19

You were left out, but He brought you in

12 …remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
- Ephesians 2:12-13

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
- Galations 3:28

Walls came down so family can be built up together

14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility…
- Ephesians 2:12-14

9 After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, 10 and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” 11 And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12 saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”
- Revelation 7:9-12

You Were a Guest, But Now You’re Home

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
- Ephesians 2:19-22

No Room for Shame

20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants,[c] ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
- Luke 15:20-24

Don’t hide it, name it

17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”
- Luke 15:17-19

Don’t fake it, face it

20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
- Luke 15:20

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
- Proverbs 28:13

Don’t stay in it, trade it

21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants,[c] ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
- Luke 15:20-24

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
- Matthew 11:28–30

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
- Romans 8:1

What Should a Dad Do?

Fathers are often thought of as providers.

'But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.' 

- 1 Timothy 5:8

There are different ways to provide.

Financial and Material

'Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. '

- Matthew 6:31-33

Love

'As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. ' 

- Psalm 103:13

Spiritual Guidance

'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.'

- Deuteronomy 6:5-7

The Heavenly Father provided what we needed most.

'but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'

- Romans 5:8

Everyone can provide something.

'But if anyone does not provide for his relatives…

- 1 Timothy 5:8

'And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

- Matthew 22:39

A father should be responsible for his family.

'The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! '

- Proverbs 20:7, ESV

Singled Out

7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

- 1 Corinthians 7:7-8

Everyone spends a season as a single person.

'then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.'

- Genesis 2:7-8

Being single is perfectly valid.

17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.

- 1 Corinthians 7:17, 20

The single life is a special life.

24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

- 1 Corinthians 7:24

'28… Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.'

- 1 Corinthians 7:28

The single life presents special opportunities to be formed by God, take care of your field, and find rest in Him.

Seek God in the beauty of your season.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

- 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Table Talk - What’s on the Menu?

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

- Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV

Set the Table: What You Prioritize Gets Repeated.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children... talk about them when you sit at home…

- Deuteronomy 6:6-7, NIV

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

- Proverbs 22:6, ESV

Watch the Portions: What You Model Gets Multiplied.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

- Deuteronomy 6:5

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

- Philippians 4:9

Clear the Table: Not Everything Deserves a Seat.

You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

- Deuteronomy 6:4-9

15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

- Joshua 24:15

Pardon Our Progress - Grace at Work

3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

- Philippians 1:3-6

Don’t confuse incomplete with insecure.

6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

- Philippians 1:6

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

- 2 Corinthians 12:9

Delayed doesn’t mean deserted.

5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. - Philippians 1:5

Grace doesn’t mean you’re done, it means you belong.

7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 1:7

Through Ages and Stages

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”' - Ephesians 6:1-3

The way we relate to our parents changes over the course of our lives.

It can be hard to adapt to different seasons and situations.

Jesus chose to honor the Father even when it was hard.

'Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.' - Ephesians 5:1-2

'Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”' - Matthew 26:38-39

Choose honor when you relate: evaluate, consider the weight, then add grace to the plate.

“Honor your father and mother…” - Ephesians 6:2

'“Honor your father and your mother…' - Exodus 20:12

'Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” - Ephesians 5:1

God blesses us when we bless our parents.

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”' - Ephesians 6:2-3