Before the Relationship

Warm-Up Question

If you watched this week’s online service, what stood out to you? (Perhaps those who watched the sermon can try to recap for those who missed it.)

Main Thought

Whenever we enter into any kind of partnership, we need to make sure that it’s with the right person. It doesn’t matter if it’s a business relationship, a friendship, or a romantic relationship. God wants us to be with the right people! But God wants us to be the right people before we start looking for the right person or people to partner with. God prepares us to “be the right person” in any relationship by establishing a few key things. “Before the relationship,” God:

• God desires to give you a “place.”

• God desires to give you a purpose.

• God’s purpose will lead to provision.

• God wants to define your identity.

• God desires to give you parameters.

Main Passages

8 The Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he placed the man he had formed. 9 The Lord God caused to grow out of the ground every tree pleasing in appearance and good for food, including the tree of life in the middle of the garden, as well as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

- Genesis 2:8-9

15 The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.” 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

- Genesis 2:15-18

Discussion Questions

1. Think about the five things God wants to do in us “before the relationship” in order to prepare us. Which is most relevant for you?

2. What changes can you make in order to participate with God’s process of preparation in your life?

Family Questions

1. Have you ever partnered with someone for things like school or sports? What makes a good partner?

Love Your Enemy

Main Thought

Loving our enemy is a totally foreign concept. The words “Love” and “enemy” are so far apart. But Jesus did. So what did Jesus mean when he said “love your enemy”? Jesus is calling us to demonstrate the highest standard of love: the Greek word for this is “agape” love. It’s the kind of love Jesus demonstrated for us on the Cross. Agape love expresses itself when we choose to live by a higher standard of conduct. We don;t retaliate, and we respond to cursing with blessing. This sounds impossible. How can we do this? For Christians, this is possible when we trust in God’s higher judgement and purpose. God works on our behalf, and He will bring judgement one day. But He also works through us when we love our enemies. Loving our enemies serves as a radical testimony of God’s grace.

Main Passages

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

-Luke 6:27-30

To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.

- Romans 12:20

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Discussion Questions

1. Why is loving our enemies so hard?

2. How does knowing that we were once enemies of God change your perspective on loving your enemies?

3. What steps can you take to love an enemy this week?

Family Questions

1. Why might it be important to be nice to people, even if they’re mean to us?

Contract vs. Covenant

Main Thought

The modern definition and standard of friendship in our world can leave us wanting more. This is largely due to the fact that our society often teaches us to treat friendship as a contract: a conditional exchange of value. If someone doesn’t give or receive the “value” they expect , then the “friendship contract” is terminated. In contrast, the Bible presents the idea of friendship as a covenant. Covenants carry more spiritual and moral weight than contracts. We can learn a lot about covenant friendship in the Book of 1 Samuel’s account of the friendship between Jonathan and David. Covenant friendships are unique because they’re built on a shared mission and a shared standard. Covenant friendship is committed. It is intentional, and it is sacrificial. Jesus Christ embodied those three standards! As Christians, we should strive to do the same.

Main Passages

18 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

- 1 Samuel 18: 1, 3

4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.

- 1 Samuel 18:4

4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

- Philippians 2:4-8

Discussion Questions

1. What kind of “value” do people expect in a contract friendship? Have you ever experienced the fallout of that kind of friendship?

2. Do you think you have any “covenant friends” in your life right now? What makes you say that?

3. Covenant friendships are committed, intentional, and sacrificial. Which of those three qualities can you improve on in order to grow as a covenant friend for others?

Family Questions

1. What makes a good friend? Are you a good friend to others?

Close, But Not Close Enough

Main Thought

Everyone wants love. According to Jesus, the greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. That’s a lot of love! These two commands alone require a great deal of effort on our part. They impact our priorities and our activities. How do we muster up all this love? It all starts with experiencing God’s love for ourselves. Finding it in God’s Word, and in times of prayer and worship whether it be privately or publicly. We need to receive it; then, we can reciprocate it! We love God back. We then demonstrate God’s love to our “neighbors” (which includes anyone and everyone) by treating them with care.

Main Passages

28 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 32 And the scribe said to him, “You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that he is one, and there is no other besides him. 33 And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” 34 And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And after that no one dared to ask him any more questions.

- Mark 12:28-34

15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us…

- 1 John 4: 15-17a

Discussion Questions

1. How do you typically experience God’s love? How often do you do it?

2. How do you typically reciprocate your love to God?

3. How can you begin to love the neighbors around you, or in your immediate sphere of influence?

Family Question

1. Did you know that God loves you? How does God show his love to you?