What Should a Dad Do?

Opening Statement

The following Introduction will be included in our Discussion Guides periodically. It should help set expectations for the Life Group gathering. The statement should be read by a Life Group Leader. Leaders may also refer back to it and read it again when someone joins the Group for the first time.

“Welcome to Life Group! Our goal is to be a small group where anyone can belong, believe, and become the people that God made us to be. We want to grow as followers of Jesus together.

With these goals in mind, we’d like to keep our conversation focused on our personal lives, our discussion material, and on how God is teaching us to follow Him. Sharing is encouraged. We want to hear from everyone; however, you can choose to pass on answering a question if you’d like. Please be mindful of the time, so that everyone has equal opportunities to share, listen, and learn. As a Life Group Leader, I will do my best to guide the conversation.

Let’s open our Life Group in prayer, and ask God to be with us tonight.”

Main Thought

What’s a dad supposed to do? Fathers are often thought of as providers. Provision includes meeting the basic financial or material needs for one’s self and/or family. This is a good, noble thing. But there are other things that need to be provided as well. We need love. In our efforts to provide love, we should capitalize on our strengths while considering how those around us best receive love. We need God’s love too. We should do our best to provide spiritual guidance. A prayer, an invitation to a Life Group or a Worship Service, and an encouraging word can all point people to God. Anyone can contribute to the provision of basic material needs, love, and spiritual guidance. But God will (generally) hold husbands and dads accountable to a greater degree, as He did with Adam. Fathers should be responsible for their families. God wants to help us all do our parts to guide and provide. He provided what we needed most through Jesus; and, He’s ready to help us through the presence of His Holy Spirit. 

Main Passages

'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.'

- Deuteronomy 6:5-7

'Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. '

- Matthew 6:31-33

'but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. '

- Romans 5:8,15-17

Discussion Questions

1. What stands out to you in the Main Thought or Main Passages above?

2. Has anyone in your life provided spiritual guidance by “talking the talk and walking the walk” - essentially, by living a life that was in line with their faith? How so?

3. What can you provide to your family? What can you add to your spiritual family?

1 Corinthians 7: Bible Study

Read 1 Corinthians 7

• What stood out to you most after reading this chapter in the Bible? 

Reflect on these questions

• The words “call” and “called” are repeated often in this chapter. The Greek word for call means “to call aloud, to bid, or to invite.” Two of the verses that feature the word called are verses 17 and 24.
  
  Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.
  - 1 Corinthians 7:17
  
  So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called...
  - 1 Corinthians 7:24a
  
  Do you feel that you're currently living a life that God has called you to live? Is there anything that can confirm your answer in the Bible, in prayer, and/or through fellowship with other believers?

• Another emphasis in this chapter is the idea of “remaining with God,” and staying focused on Him. Verses 24 and 35 highlight this idea.
  
  So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
  - 1 Corinthians 7:24
  
  I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
  - 1 Corinthians 7:35
  
  How does your current season in life make it easier to focus on God and live for Him? Does your season in life create any obstacles to focusing on God and living for Him? 

Respond with faith in action

• Paul’s intent is not to forbid the pursuit of marriage; rather, it is to offer advice while promoting a focus on eternity (1 Cor. 7:29-31). Our time on earth is short.
  
  What can you do to live for eternity as an individual? What can you do with those around you (your family, Life Group, etc.) to live for eternity as a team?

Pardon Our Progress - Grace at Work

Main Thought

Have you ever walked through a home under construction or renovation? It can be such a mess! There’s dirt, debris, and materials everywhere. Yet these clear imperfections are signs of progress when a master builder is nearby. Our homes and families - which includes each of us as individuals - are no different. We’re works in progress, living with other works in progress. Grace allows the work to continue. God gives grace to us; we should extend grace to each other; and, we should give grace to ourselves. We might be incomplete, but we can’t allow that to make us insecure. Insecurity keeps us from rising into the places and roles God has called us to occupy in our homes.

Each of us can partner with God to become the best versions of ourselves. Allowing God to build us might involve evaluating ourselves and our lives against a new blueprint: the Bible. Letting God build us might also involve becoming aware of our flaws and fixing them. We can adopt new mindsets, actions, and habits in place of those flaws. This process is repentance in action. The work might be hard, but God is a Master Builder. He’ll finish what He started if we continue the work with plenty of grace.

Main Passages

3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

- Philippians 1:3-6, ESV

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

- 2 Corinthians 12:9

'“And now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. But what God foretold by the mouth of all the prophets, that his Christ would suffer, he thus fulfilled. Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord…”

Acts 3:17-20

Discussion Questions

1. Name one strength, talent, or personality trait of yours that is a blessing to your family (or to those close to you). How do you use that to bless others?

2. How does grace help create a space where we can all safely learn, grow, and improve?

3. Think about one of your own flaws and failings. How might that affect your family (or people close to you) negatively? What could repentance and growth look like for you?

Through Ages and Stages

Main Thought

The Bible’s command to “honor your father and mother” is for everyone. Yet the way we relate to our parents (or other people who helped raise us) changes over time. The honor that we give them might change too. We need to navigate this dynamic through different ages and stages. We might not know how to do that sometimes. We might even feel that they don’t deserve honor from us. Still, Christians are called to follow in the footsteps of Christ. Jesus honored the Father - even when it was difficult - when He chose to give His life on the Cross. 

Jesus chose honor. We can choose honor too. This begins with a base level of honor, because we wouldn’t be here without our parents. We can then do something that’s implied by the words for “honor” in the original Greek and Hebrew: value and weight, respectively. We can carefully evaluate, or weigh out, how to honor our parents practically in the context of our unique relationships. Honor can look different in different situations. Finally, we should extend honor with grace (undeserved, unearned kindness). As Christians, we’ve experienced the grace of God. We should extend grace to our parents and guardians too. God’s Word promises that He will bless us when we bless our parents. Let’s choose honor, and look for God to fulfill His promise.

Main Passages

'Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”'

- Matthew 26:36-39, ESV

'Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.'

- Ephesians 5:1-2

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”'

- Ephesians 6:1-3

Discussion Questions

1. Think about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. What can we learn from Him in those difficult moments, leading up to His crucifixion?

2. Why do you think God commanded everyone to honor their parents?

3. Honor can look different in different seasons and situations. We might choose to give honor through our time, words, gifts, or service; through respectful, clear expectations or boundaries; by honoring someone’s memory, and passing on the lessons you learned from them; or, perhaps even with prayer, forgiveness, and blessing from a distance. 
   
   What might honoring your parents look like practically for you? (Be sure to evaluate this with God, and weigh it out with Christian community.) 

The Love That Releases - When Love Becomes Sacrifice

Main Thought

You might have heard this saying before: “If you love something, let it go.” There’s actually some truth to this from a Biblical perspective, but God’s Word brings greater clarity and truth to it. Love releases what it isn’t called to change or control. In family life, there will be issues - people, problems, decisions, and more - that are outside of our rightful influence and control. Love recognizes this fact and rejects the temptation to exert inappropriate influence. In love, we let these things go - but we do not go away. Love watches without withdrawing. We remain accessible, within reach, to the people and problems that we release. We want people to be able to turn to us when they’re ready. So what do we do in the meantime? Love trusts God to return the things we’ve released. Some things are outside our control, but there’s nothing outside God’s control. Letting things go teaches us to trust Him.

Main Passages

Now a man of the tribe of Levi married a Levite woman, 2 and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. When she saw that he was a fine child, she hid him for three months. 3 But when she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch. Then she placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile. 4 His sister stood at a distance to see what would happen to him. - Exodus 2:1-4, NIV

5 Then Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Nile to bathe, and her attendants were walking along the riverbank. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her female slave to get it. 6 She opened it and saw the baby. He was crying, and she felt sorry for him. “This is one of the Hebrew babies,” she said. 7 Then his sister asked Pharaoh’s daughter, “Shall I go and get one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?” 8 “Yes, go,” she answered. So the girl went and got the baby’s mother. 9 Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay you.” So the woman took the baby and nursed him. 10 When the child grew older, she took him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. She named him Moses, saying, “I drew him out of the water.” - Exodus 2:5-10

'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ' - Romans 8:28

Discussion Questions

1. Reflect on Romans 8:28 (above). What can it look like when God works “for the good of those who love him”? What does this verse promise us? What doesn’t it promise us?

2. Are there any situations in your life or your family that are bringing you pain, worry, or distress? Is there anything you can do within your rightful place of influence or control?

3. Think about your answer to Question 2 again. What’s outside your rightful place of influence or control? Pray with each other for those situations, breaking into smaller groups if appropriate.